Flash Fiction Friday: Off Day Off

Published May 2, 2009

I really love Flash Fiction Friday. This week's pertinent topic was suggested by Gabe, Robin was the first to get hers up, and I have faith that Caiti's will soon be available for you to read. While it is an option to ignore this post and deprive yourself of my fellow FFFers fabulous works, I would suggest that you read them all and comment with an idea of what our prompt may have been, a suggestion for a future prompt, or just a general reaction! Without further ado I present to you my piece:

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Jeremy walks into my office, pauses, and says You look like shit. He might be right, but I still feel like responding with a special delivery from my knee, c/o his nuts. Not that I’ve got it in me. I just don’t think anyone should say things like that. Not just because I’m a girl. It’s not like I asked him if these pants make my butt look big. That’d be a different story.

I didn’t do anything to deserve this, and they’re telling me there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s funny at first because that’s how we deal. That’s how we know it’s far away because if it were any closer we couldn’t laugh anymore.

There was the one that went something like guess why they call it PMS? Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

I remember in elementary school I used to tease Johnny for being a boy and having a big head. One time he threatened to pour anthrax in my cubby. We knew he was bluffing but he still got in a lot of trouble.

I can’t even imagine how much shit Jenny took during the whole SARS thing.

I started getting cold at work one day and made the mistake of telling someone I thought I was getting sick. She’s got it! They all made jokes. I did too. You guys better look out; I might come breathe on you! It made it feel less possible. Less likely.

They’re going to feel awful when they find out. Maybe they won’t, maybe they’ll just get worried that they got it from me. Things get bad and it’s everyone for themselves, right? I’m not contagious anymore, at least. I might not tell them that, either.

I’m definitely not telling Jeremy. Really, you need to go home. Rest up. Come back in tomorrow. Yeah, sure, tomorrow. Right as rain. See you then. It’ll be great.